I’m losing it….Really.


I’m losing it….really.

I have become a list maker. I used to make lists to remember who had to be picked up where and when, dates to turn in various school forms, pizza day at Bragg School, birthday cards to buy…You know, those important things that us
“stay-at-homes” live for.Clipart Illustration of a Red Pencil Marking Of Items On A Check

Now I make lists just so know I have accomplished something by the end of the day because without my list I wouldn’t remember what I accomplished on any given day.

I was getting concerned that I had the early stages of dementia until I realized that all my friends are memory challenged. My girlfriend forgets a lunch date but it’s OK! I forgot to pick my dad up from his doctor’s appointment and I DROPPED HIM OFF THAT SAME MORNING! My other girlfriend can’t remember where she put the book I lent her. It’s OK! I can’t remember even having read the book although I must have loved it because I’m running a neighborhood book group to discuss it.

Today, when getting together my friends and I find ourselves in competition over how forgetful we are. We face the same challenges with a common theme: where’s the keys, where’s the scarf, where’s the wallet, where’s the glasses. Although we laugh, there is still that nagging little voice in the back which says (sort of loudly)…maybe this ain’t so funny.

I actually downloaded the Lumosity app onto my phone which promises to “train your brain for better function.” (More on this in my next blog). When someone is looking over my shoulder I switch over to the NYTimes app so I appear to be smart.

I looked up the symptoms of dementia:

1 A group of symptoms affecting intellectual and social abilities confused

Well, surely I have that one covered. It’s hard to sound intellectual and excel in the social scene when you are flipping your words as in, “I think I will go to the car and get the heat seated”, which really translates to “I think I’ll get the seat heated.”

2 Memory loss

I literally can’t remember why I am standing in a particular room on any given day. I know that I went there with a purpose I just can’t remember what that purpose was. Then, 3 hours later when I’m getting into bed, that’s when I’ll remember.

3 Problems with at least two brain functions, such as memory loss and impaired judgment or language.

(refer to answers number’s 1 and 2)

4 Dementia can make you confused and unable to remember people and names. foot in mouth

I have decided I have way too many friends and this is the reason I can’t remember names anymore. I don’t need any more friends. So I have decided to close the gate. My friends are the ones I currently call friends. The rest of you – don’t bother me.

5 Changes in personality and social behavior.

See the last remark in the answer to number 4

So I went to go see my doctor about this and he said it’s an age thing. REALLY? Something else that us 50 year old women now I have to deal with along with insomnia, weight gain, and feeling like we’re hot but not in the sexy way?

DR: Anyone can forget some details but people with dementia forget the entire thing.

ME: Good…I will forget what my thighs used to look like.

DR: People with dementia are prone to placing objects in odd places.

ME: I found clean wash cloths in my freezer. (I kept this to myself).

Long story short…I’m not worried anymore since nobody that I know can remember anything and we are relatively happy. My 80 year old mother who is still working, still going, still doing reminded me, recently, after having misplaced my glasses for 3 days, that my glasses may be in my bathrobe pocket. THEY WERE. Maybe dementia missed her generation and settled on ours. Or maybe we all just have way too much time on our hands.

I continue to train my brain with the lumosity app daily, but only after I find my phone.

About Tracy Buckner

Tracy’s humor writing appears in the new book Laugh Out Loud: 40 Women Humorists Celebrate Then and Now...Before We Forget. She regularly blogs for the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers workshop,http://humorwriters.org, and is a syndicated contributor to The New Jersey Hills Newspaper,http://www.newjerseyhills.com/observer-tribune/,serving Morris County. She enjoys writing about life's slow decline and vows to go down kicking and screaming.

5 responses »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s